One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
