So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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