Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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