dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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