I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
