Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
