he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
