is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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