Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
