Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
