I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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