Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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