She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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