just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
