im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
this hospital has no fireball
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
