there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
