I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
