My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
