bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
