So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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