i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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