I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
