I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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