You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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