I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
