Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize