Why is your signature on my underwear?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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