Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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