Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Randomize
