Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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