If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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