Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
