No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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