The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I bet he comes in French.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
