You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize