Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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