I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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