Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
