lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
