If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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