Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I wish i was in the wii world.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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