I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize