OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
