what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
we're so committed to being not committed
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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