i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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