coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
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