I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
