Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Randomize
