just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
