so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
