you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
