Whod you bang
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
