She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
