So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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