when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
