Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
