...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize