It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize