I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
