Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
