well most of my day revolves around power hour
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
