Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
