oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
