..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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