no. you can't hotbox the world.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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