his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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