I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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