Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
